Detoxification
There is nothing quite like waking up from a four year addiction to soul numbing opiates. The experience is even more harsh and unreal in that you make this transition back into a person in the span of a week. The first three days your mind and body rebels and fights for it's very life against the pain and mental anguish that comes when one is deprived of the fix that has always been. The forth day you begin to walk around, stumbling from the barbiturates your body is flooded with every 6 - 8 hours. You see other people in various stages of waking from the nightmare that has ruled their lives for what seems like an eternity. Finding someone that is in the same condition you are the bond is instantly formed and the subject always the same. The pain we caused, the torture we felt, the lies we lived in order to continue to not feel what was always right around the corner. The best friend I have ever had was made in three days and gone on the fourth, leaving me to wonder if I would ever see her again. The last day feeling once more, empathetic to all those around me I felt compelled to help others in anyway I could forming even more bonds that would be cut as soon as they were formed. Then your thrown back into your old life only as a brand new person that has to learn to feel all over again. Music hadn't touched me in as long as I can remember, I had no use for it, on the ride home I cried when the radio came on. Creating my own joy and finding what joy I could from those around me became a mission, although with joy always comes pain and the higher you went the lower your apt to fall. Learning to love yourself is the most important thing you can do because others will always let you down. I just can't let myself down again because I may never get back up.
